Blessing in disguise
Coming out of the lockdown blues has been a major task for many of us. Life has come to such a standstill, who could ever guess? Fear of a virus, something like a cold but lethal, highly contagious, the infected people could spread it in the environment and to others too just by a short interaction—around this a lot of speculation was building up, everyone glued to the news on TV, text messages or the internet, trying to find the latest info to be prepared. This fear of the unknown only made us more cautious, taking every precaution explained everywhere. This induced added responsibility of keeping my family safe; worried for those away from home only to settle with a regular update of wellness over the phone. It twisted our lives, added to more worries, anxiety and concern. My brain was over occupied, doing double shifts, with lack of restful sleep. When did I start becoming anxious?
I took some time to realize that I had fallen deep into sadness and was even behaving erratically. Staying at home all the time, managing daily chores without any domestic help, even the bitsy jobs turned very stressful with lost motivation for regular cooking, washing, and cleaning. They all seemed harder than ever before. Being thankful was far lost to us, as each person in the house was ready to snap at and irritate the other. In the middle of this house-arrest I, in trepidation, started to judge my own performance in every task, and awarded myself lower grades each day. Disaster was sure to launch, not only owing to the dreadful virus outside, but due to the mess created by me in my own mind.
The lock down came as a thud, actual shut down of everything – a panic button for survival. Though we had stored some rations for two weeks, rumors spread of scarcity, inflation and a long curfew – there seemed no end to the horrible situation. The little known enemy, encapsulated in a protein shell carried the potential to create vast havoc, engulfing hundreds of thousands of relationships in the shortest time, colossal damage, and continuing…
The only walking place, the balcony, too was out of bounds, as houses next door were affected, we were worried for them, and our relatives. Ringing of the phone invoked prayers for better news than expected at the time!! With lack of enthusiasm I continued making special efforts to keep busy with household chores. Had no exposure to sunlight, eating and resting got disrupted leading to fatigue, body aches, and stress.
One day while cooking in the kitchen, I badly got mixed up in my head. I was battling with overlapping ideas and mentally doing everything faster than my hands could. I was confused and nervous… ‘How could I fall to such a level of disharmony?’ I thought. The concept of ‘Mindfulness’ was definitely missing out in my attention. I called my doctor and made an appointment.
My family doctor ran some blood investigations and advised:
Supplements for vitamin D, calcium, vitamin c and hemoglobin; long walks; interaction with friends and neighbors. Get vaccinated and spend an hour outdoors daily, and also, involve yourself in doing something creative that you like to do. I took this seriously. I stood up, took charge of my life, started supplements, short walks with masks on, and practiced breathing and simple floor exercises, which quickly brought my mind back to track. I decided to use creativity in cooking, tried a new dish every day step by step learning on YouTube and stitched a few masks every week. In the past I have had to stay indoors for months, (after a surgery, or during exams) but it was my own decision and I attached a purpose to it.
It gets easier when we accept the situation and take steps to happily pass through it. I learned. Finding a purpose and doing what I would enjoy was seriously missing out of my daily activity. Sitting in the sun, doing Sudoku, listening to music, watching videos on YouTube, all was put in place. I tried my hand at gardening too. I called my school-best-friend and started to chat with more people, it made them feel good too! The best thing I did was to write a page every day in my diary. This channelized my thoughts, feelings and dreams. I experienced a sigh of relief. I began to develop a better understanding of the value of sharing and expressing!
Our mental well being largely depends upon how we perceive and feel in different circumstances in life. I told myself to stay calm, given anysituation. I am solely responsible for the way I feel and react in life, whatever the case maybe. If you feel responsible, you remain in control of yourself, I gathered! The stressful life events, medical conditions or certain vitamin deficiencies can lead to mental conditions like depression. This fact cannot be ignored. Having understood this, I rose up from my stupor, awakened with conviction to establish apurpose in life, doing something that I would love to do, something beneficial for me and others too.
It is important for us to realize our potential, skills and value them. I love to study philosophy, research ideas and make in depth study on them, so I resolved to get creative and make a niche for myself online.
